...I'm walking away now

11.20.2006 // 4:17 pm


I decided to walk away from this thing with Coal. I never was supposed to become all emotional behind dude and that's exactly what ended up happening. I'm feeling jealous, possessive, catty, hurt, manipulated, vindictive... just a whole bunch of shyte that an "open" relationship was supposed to protect me from feeling. I'll stop just shy of saying I'm broken hearted though. I don't think I'd take it that far. I did shed a few tears this weekend though.

I talked to three people about it and they all think I'm making the right decision. I said I would do it today, but he's about 10 feet away from me right now and I haven't done it yet. He knows something is wrong though. He looked at me and told me I look like I have a lot on my mind and then asked me if I needed to talk or was it too personal. I told him I prolly needed to talk. I have a meeting from 5 to 6 so we'll talk when it's over. I'm nervous because I don't wanna cry infront of him. I worked very hard at not letting him see the emotional side of myself. To let him see me crying would just blow me beyond all reason. I'll let you know how it goes...


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