... the last day

06.22.2004 // 8:56 am


Today's the day: The last day of part one of my training. I'm experiencing a little bit of anxiety about not having these converstions on a weekly basis for the rest of the summer, but I'm sure I'll do fine.

I'm writing this as the man who leads the group sits about seven feet away from eating his breakfast. I'm a little afraid of him. Well, not afraid, really. Just a little in awe. He has this really calm way about him. His voice is very even keeled and soothing. Listening to him is actually like being hypnotized, in a way. That's funny cuz people have accused him of using these trainings to try and recruit for his own little cult. It's nothing like that though. He's just a brilliant man with an amazing amount of insight into the human psyche and that of our world and how our personal and collective history shapes our relationships.

I think that's what kinda creeps me out about him. He talks like he already knows what's going on in your head. Things I've thought or felt but never had the courage or the platform to say out loud, he not only says, but validates. That is SO important. He acknowledges the difficulty involved with making a change... making the decision to change.

I'm not gon lie. I don't trust men. I don't respect men. I blame my father for that. Most of the time I fear men and the harm the can do to a woman's spirit. But this man... this man is the first man I can honestly say I respect. He disclosed alot about his personal life and his evolution into a person he, himself, can respect.

I should be so lucky.


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