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... hide and sneak

11.27.2006 // 5:52 am

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He saw me tear up while I was on the phone with my girlfriend on Wednesday. She didn't know the story so I was tellin her. He walked past my door in time to see me grab a tissue off my desk and wipe my eye. I was only in the building for about 5 minutes after that.

He had come in the room earlier. I tried to ignore him both times. I was on my cell and just didn't acknowledge him. The second time, though, he walked up to where I was standing and gave me this really uncomfortable smile. I smiled back... at least I think I did. That's what I tried to do, but it didn't feel like a smile was on my face. I'm pretty sure it didn't look like one either. So we didn't speak.

Right after that I started to tell my girlfriend what happened and why I walked away from it. I wasn't sobbing or anything, but anyone could tell I was sad and teary. He walked past my room, looked in and saw that shyte... the one thing I did not want him to fucking witness, he saw. We still didn't speak. He planted himself right at the front entrance and sat there until I left. We did that wierd wave/shit face/smile thing and I left. I got home and cried until my head hurt. I fell asleep and woke up with a fever of 101.6. My head was pounding and my neck and shoulders were so sore, it felt like somebody had literally beat me down. Spent the entire the Thanksgiving weekend in bed coughin and hackin like a damn chain smoker.

Physically, I feel much better today. I don't like admitting it, but I think hearing from him helped. :-( What's messed up though is that today'll be the first time I see him since Wednesday and I'm actually shook. So far, my plan is to hide in my room until I see/hear him go somewhere else. Then I'll sneak out the building as fast as I can.

Hide.... sneak.... hmmm.... not really the actions of a new and improved Macdiva. Hey, KFK, when exactly are those superpowers supposed to kick in?

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