... the fat and the furious

05.20.2004 // 10:45 am


Ever get a bad vibe from sombody on sight? Like... instead of love at first sight you feel like it's hate at first sight? Well that how I feel about this one chick at my job. I never got that warm fuzzy vibe from her when I first got here. I felt like she just didn't like me for some reason but I didn't know why. I mean, I just got here, so it wasn't like I had done anything to her. Eventually, I just said, "You know what? You can't be everybody's sunshine. So, fuck it." And that was that. But in our staff meeting, I just realized it ain't me. She's not selectively shady. Her fucked-up-ness is universal. She is, indeed, an equal opportunity beotch! Here's the proof...

I already wrote about how one of the coolest sistas in here is about to roll out. Well, she's gonna be gone the first week in June. She wants to have a lil shindig at some bar on the Lower East Side. She sent out an email to a whole gang of folks, but ONLY CERTAIN PEOPLE AT THE JOB. So we all at staff meeting, right. Cool chick ain't in the room, so one of the people on the management team (aka the people who were NOT invited to the shindig) suggests that we do something for her since she's leaving. So folks are throwing around ideas: let's take her out to dinner... buy her a present... cut her a cake during her last staff meeting... that sorta thing. Here go this bitch...

"Why? We're already going out to that bar, right?? I mean, that's what she said she wanted in the email she sent out."

Management team lookin at each other all confused and shit like, "What email? We ain't git no fuckin email."

At first we thought, maybe she just dense as all hell, but then she repeated that shit and added details, "Yeah. She sent out that email about meeting up on the LES after work on June 3rd. She said that's what she wants, so we should just do that. That's all"

Now, lemme explain something. In addition to being cool as shit, she's hella smart and HOT TO DEATH! The hater, on the other hand, is fat. She's not ugly or homely or anything. But you know how some folks get when the feel like somebody is gettin a lil more shine than them. She's always complaining that she doesn't git enough money for her job and she been here since the turn of the fuckin century. Mind you, she complains to us... not to the people with the authority to give her a raise. Cool chick on the other hand ain't scared to advocate for herself and has gotten raises and title changes since she's been here. It's just that this time, when she asked for more money to compensate for all the added duties (and stress) they've been giving her, they couldn't come through with the cash. So, she quit. She has a law degree, she's young, she's attractive. She'll be fine. She's got power assests, you know. And that's pretty much the genesis of the hateration. Basically, she hates on young people in general, but kicks her bullshit into overdrive if you young AND cute AND smart AND paid. She just can't deal. So, I guess this was her way of trying to shit on homegirl.

See, that's the kinda stuff that makes me "dissociate" when I'm here. Think about it. Why would anybody pay attention to somebody like that? She's wack.


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