...baby steps

11.20.2006 // 8:03 pm


The meeting ended at 7 instead of 6. Me, my principal and 2 coworkers all come up together and Coal is sitting at the top of the stairs... waiting. I heard one of my coworkers ask my principal for a ride home (they have known each other for over 20 years) so I just walked to my room and began to put on my coat and shyte. Coal comes in and says, "Okay. Ready to share?" Just then I fuckin chickened out. I said, "Not tonight." He then says,"you know I been sittin here all night thinkin you gon share, ri?" I just flashed a crooked, half-assed smile and turned my back to him. He asked if it was personal or if it was about the job. In a way it's both since its about him and he works at the job. I lied and said it wasn't about the job. I then began to tell him about my evaluation today. It went really well. (That's me stallin.) I was half way through the story when we hear my principal calling him. He waves his hand like he plans on ignoring it. But, she doesn't stop. I told him he had better answer before she comes looking for him. He let her call his name two more times and then walks out of my damn room. (Uh... yeah. That doesn't look funny at all, right?) I hear her ask, "Is Ms. Diva still here?" (why is she asking him if I'm here if she doesn't see me? Why not call my name? Why call him? Damn. I smell a rat.) He then opens the door for me and says, "She said she'll give you a ride to the train." I don't know whether to be grateful for the ride, insulted that she's only willing to drive me 3 blocks when I'm only blocks away from the people she's driving ALL THE WAY HOME, annoyed because she interrupted my conversation or concerned about the sideways look she shot Coal when she saw him leave my room after she had to call him so many damn times. Oh yeah... I left that part out didn't I? She looked at him real funny when she walked out my room and then the other two people she was driving home shot me a look when I came out the building.

I got in the car and must have slammed it (not out of anger. I just do that sometimes. All my friemds complain about it.) Why does the lady that asked for the ride say, "Damn. Could you slam the door a lil harder? I feel like I'm in the car with a couple that just had a fight." Okay. Now, I'm not saying she was implying anything, but is it me or could she have found a worse fucking metaphor?? I just ignored it. I took my lil 3 block ride to the train and as I'm getting out the car, the other lady's daughter asks me, "Where do you live?" Again, I ignored it. It was either that or say, "Oh... bout five minutes away from the rest of you heffers, but oh well."

I didn't take the train. I never do. I went into the drug store, bought some Chex Mix and then got into a cab. We drove three blocks and I decided to send Coal a text...

"How would you feel about taking a break?"

Is that assertive or direct or even remotely similar to the face to face speech I was supposed to deliver? Of course not. But its a baby step... I guess... I dunno...


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