May 5th to May 12th of 08

11.29.2008 // 7:19 pm


On May 3rd we were supposed to go out. He was going to take a family portrait with his mother, brother and neice and then spend the rest of the day with me. He never called and I never saw him. I kept called but ... nothing. and now...

TJ just dumped me. He told me he doesn't think he's the man for me because I deserve better than him. He's hung up on how much money I make. He also say he's been "talking to some people". Wtf?!! These are the same people that are jealous that he's not hanging out with themlike he used to!!

Omg, I am physically ill right now. I cried until I threw up!! I've never done that before! I don't know what to write. I can't even see. Oh God.

We went and sat underneath the Manhattan bridge and talked. I was so excited to see him and I let it show. He had to leave to go get his cousin from the hospital and said he would come back but they ended up admitting him so he wasn't gonna be able to. He was frustrated as shyte and so was I but I do feel a little better about "us" now.

I'm slowly becoming accustomed to not having him around and that makes me so sad. We didn't talk at all yesterday. Our conversation Friday and Saturday lasted literally minutes and was carried entirely by me. I told him I felt helpless but it didn't seem to matter. He's in some kinda funk and I guess I'm just not worth having to deal with right now. I want to reach out to him but he's been iggin me so I guess all I can do is just let it ride. If my apathy is growing I'm sure his is too. He says he becomes attached quickly and his feelings intensify fast, but it seems to me that I am the only one that really wants to try and save this thing. I guess the next question I have to ask myself is... why?
Sidebar: What if the person he was talking to wasn't his cousin? What if it was someone else he's seeing? He's never given me a reason to think he'd go out like that, but he's also never seemed like he didn't want to be bothered with me either. Whatever. Stop analyzing shit! I'm bout to get my PhD in this bullshit. Fuck it... I need to just let it burn.


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Hello again... - 06.20.2012

May 18th of 08 - 11.29.2008

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May 14th of 08 - 11.29.2008

May 5th to May 12th of 08 - 11.29.2008