... finally... THE END

2003-02-26 // 4:32 p.m.



Here it is...

The End...

I'm watching him undress.

A while back, he told me all about a car accident he was in two years ago. It was major. He had to be airlifted to the hospital and was in surgery for 8 hours. I got to see the scar that runs the length of his left thigh...

It was ugly...

Actually, though, it was the only ugly thing about his body. But it's not like it turned me off or anything. It just made the whole thing more real.

He sat on the edge of my bed and we kissed. (Some of y'all that I speak with on the regular might notice that I left this part out when I was talkin to you. I guess it's just easier for me to write this stuff than to say it out loud... my bad.) That went on for a while. He (We) wanted to take it further but there's something about being the "Rebound Girl" that just doesn't appeal to me. So, I let him lay his head in my lap and he slept.

He was out cold for about three hours and when he woke up he seemed even more confused. I think he may have gone into a litlle bit of shock. He has always told me how his house and his kids were the most important things to him and that's why he would always go back to her after leaving. (He's left 3 times in their 2 year marriage.) But now he was talking about selling his house and all sorts of crazy shit. Then he tells me he has this overwhelming feeling that there was something he needed to do. He didn't know what it was though. So I ask, "Do you wanna call home?"

No answer.

"Do you wanna go home?"

No answer.

Finally after we're both up and dressed, he goes, "[PET NAME], I think I wanna go home." and then looks at me with these sad eyes as though he thought I was gonna bawl him out or something. I didn't.

I've been used before. I've known that feeling. This wasn't it. He didn't drive to Brooklyn to cop a feel (even though we both did). He came for support and I was able to give it to him. It kinda sucks that he felt the need to come 200 miles to get it, but at least he knew it was here if he needed it... and he thanked me for that.

I think that's when I really fell for him. (big mistake)

He drives home the same way he drove here, calling me across state lines to let me know he was okay. As he pulls up to his house, we say our goodbyes. But then five minutes later he calls back.

So I'm like, "What the f@#%? Why you calling me back so fast?What happened?"

He goes, "Wifey filed formal charges with the District Attorney. I can't enter my house or see my daughter. I have to appear in court on Tuesday."

So now I'm cryin and shit. I can't believe she took it this far with a gotdayum lie. But then bust what he says... "Oh it's really over now. This is it. No recociliation."

What? So dude still had it in his mind that there was a chance to reconcile even after he came here? Wait. It get's better. (I'm gonna have to shorten things up cuz I'm tired of typin and I know y'all just about through readin.)

In the days that follow the incident, DC (the city) gets covered in almost 3 feet of snow, she and him begin to talk about the future. She agrees to leave. They will get a divorce. She'll take the living room and dining room sets and everything in their daughter's room. Timing is left in the air, but this is the end... that's for certain. She agrees to allow him back into the home (in direct violation of the court order) but when asked about dropping the charges she says she'll "think about it". That was last week.

He and I are closer than we've ever been and I'm going out of my way to ignore the fact that I already know how this ends....

As expected things this week are very different...

They appear together in court on Monday and the Order of Protection is thrown out. She agrees to drop the criminal charges and they begin speaking again. I'll let you see for yourself what went down on Tuesday morning:

macdiva (8:46:47 AM): g'mornin

DC (8:47:04 AM): well hello sunshine

DC (8:47:13 AM): sexy thang you

macdiva (8:47:42 AM): i c somebody's in bright and early 2 day

macdiva (8:47:56 AM): back 2 da grind huh man?

DC (8:49:19 AM): basically

DC (8:49:25 AM): i gotta make up time for yesterday

DC (8:49:39 AM): plus i'm on my way to philly in a couple of hours

macdiva (8:49:46 AM): ri ri

DC (8:50:03 AM): i need to take a nap for real

DC (8:50:06 AM): man o man

DC (8:50:14 AM): why wifey say she aint leavin?

macdiva (8:51:37 AM): she's not?

macdiva (8:52:24 AM): what does that mean?

macdiva (8:53:06 AM): does it mean she wants to work it out or does it mean she ain't leavin w/o a fight and some assets?

(big ass pause right here)

DC (9:02:20 AM): she doesnt want to leave

DC (9:02:34 AM): she said we not gettin a divorce

DC (9:02:51 AM): seems like she's playin games

macdiva (9:03:05 AM): well what do you want?

macdiva (9:03:20 AM): do you know what you want?

DC (9:04:01 AM): i was kinda lookin forward to her leavin

macdiva (9:04:16 AM): and now?

DC (9:04:37 AM): i'm kinda glad she wants to stay

(mac still feels the pain of that sucka punch)

macdiva (9:04:59 AM): so I guess everybody's happy then.

DC (9:05:13 AM): not really

That was yesterday morning. We didn't talk for the rest of the day. He didn't say goodbye when he left. I was glad because I was mad at him. More importantly I was mad at myself fo being mad at him. What did I expect? (I know it's pretty obvious what I expected. Y'all don't really gotta answer.)

I got a text message last night that read: I GOT TO PHILLY OKAY

My first reaction? WHO CARES? I felt bad though. That was only my initial reation. So I'm hopin I don't go to hell or nuffin.

This mornin, he coded me 143. I hit him back. Nuthin major. I'm just glad it's over.

xxoxo... macdiva


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