... *sigh*

2002-08-14 // 12:08 p.m.


I find it interesting that the times when I need to write the most are the times when I avoid posting. it's not like I'm trying to hide anything. I'm not sure what it is really. i just happened to notice. That's all.


In my absence, I've been stuggling with my body image issues.

(So what's new?)

It was kinda bad this time around though. It was like my weight was what started the sadness, but then it triggered all this other stuff. Like the mask I feel forced to wear as I navigate this life of mine...

and the fact that I'm miserable at my job, but am too much of a coward to leave...

or the fact that I continue to pine away for one the most emotionally abusive human beings I have ever known...

or the fact that every time I seem to make any progress in any one of these areas I totally sabotage myself.

Most importantly, I hate the fact that I can give such kickass advice to everybody else, but seem unable to apply any of it to my own situation.

By the way... thank you, joi

xxoxo... md


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