...Charlie Horse, is that you???

2002-04-24 // 8:49 a.m.


... last night I went on a blind date.

...today I am sad.

Theoretically I could end it there, but, that wouldn't make for a very exciting diary, now would it?? So, here goes...

So I agree to go on this blind date. (note to self: stab mutual friend repeatedly.) We talk on the phone for a couple for days. Seems nice enough. Had a couple of issues, but who doesn't, right? So, we agree to meet...

Now, before I go on, I feel I need to insert a disclaimer here of some sort:

Please do not be offended by what you are about to read. It is no way intended to offend the financially challenged or the attractiveness impaired. I'm not flakey. I'm not shallow. I'm just honest. Certain sh*t counts and you WILL lose cool points if you ain't got it together.

By the way, just 'cause you startin' out with a major cool point deficiancy don't think you get special treatment up in heah!

Now, having said that, can somebody--ANYBODY--please tell me why the man that described himself like some sort of Tyrese look-alike looked JUST LIKE Charlie Horse from the Sherry Lewis and Lambchop Show?? And if you can answer that, maybe you can fill me in on why he felt the need to comment on how expensive the salad bar lunches are over on 34th Street and Park Ave...over...and over...and over again.

If you can answer those 2 questions for me and I'll be your best friend! I swear I will!

Did I mention his gold teeth? Notice I said gold teeth... NOT gold fronts. You know, in a sad way, I kinda wish he did have gold fronts. At least that would explain the color!

His teeth man!

Oh Sweet Jesus!

His teeth!


His damn teeth!

They were yellow as...


just real freakin' yellow and nasty!!

I swear one more date like that I'm out!

I mean it Game over! Good night Irene! I'm taken my ball and playin' for the other team!

(you know what I'm sayin?)

And what type of friend would set me up with something like that??

According to her, one that thought I wasn't nearly as superficial as I apparently am.

"He's a nice guy," she said.

"I know you'll like him," she said.

"He just hasn't met the right girl," she said.

Ordinarily I'm not the violent type, but I'm telling y'all right now...


Oh, I almost forgot the point of this diary was to keep my diet in check. Right...right...okay...

Well, I only got one word for you...

Jamaican Beef Patty

I know that's 3 words, but you see where I'm going with it...


xxoxo... macdiva


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