.

.

february 2007

04.07.2008 // 7:03 pm

=========================================================

2.2.07
I overheard Coal on the phone with a female and it kicked up all kindsa shyte inside of me. Luckily my ride came soon after so I was able to just leave. I can literally feel every hair on my body right now. I think if someone were to fck with me I�d explode. Not like scream on them. I mean literally blow the fck up. Like� BOOM Muthafcka! LOL!

Update..
Okay, so last year I lost someone I thought was a really good friend when I went to his house to visit him and he tried to violate me sexually. I was shocked and stunned and confused. But, most of all, I was hurt. I honestly thought he was someone I could trust. So many folks changed up on me as I began to drop the weight, but I didn�t think he would be one of them. Clearly I was wrong.

Well� inspite of the fact that that day ended with my hailing a cab and riding away in tears giving him the middle finger, I thought he could call me and pretend that we were still cool. Phone rang. Saw it was him. Ignored that.

THEN.... at around 4 sumthin today, that asshole that left me in Coney Island to fckn freeze to death sent me a message sayin "hey what's up" like we were cool or some shyte! Yeah. Ignored that.

THEN�. a few minutes ago around 9.34 pm Grimace (aka the psycho that cussed me out on the text message) fucking CALLED ME!!! This fool left me a voice mail talking bout "yo MD gimme a call. Chill." Ignored that.

Oh but wait. The night is still young. There�s more...

11:30 pm Coal calls my home number and I don't answer. Then he calls home again and then the cell. 10 min later he calls back and leaves an angry msg on the cell:
"You must be real busy to not take my calls. Call me when u get this msg."

2:30 am DC calls (yes� DC) but leaves no msg.

WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING TONIGHT???

=========================================

2.5.07
There�s a fat girl from 3rd floor that likes Coal. She said some shit that lets me know that Pokey (the front desk chick) must be talkin about me behind my back. I guess she call herself tryin to hook it up. Coal walks by and fatty says, "oh that dark skin girl was lookin for you... the one right there in that room. The one that like you. She came over here and asked for you." I NEVER asked Ms. Piggy a damn thing bout dat boy! Why the fck would she do that mess? Coal just said, "Who? Mac? Oh thanks" and then called me from his cell as he walked towards my room. LMAO!! This is trez amusing since she has been giving Coal her phone number repeatedly and keeps telling him to call her, but he is totally not calling her. Mind you, she supposed to be getting married! Yet she still tryin to get with him?? I knew I ain't like her when I seen her walkin in the buildin in the mornin. Nuthin overt, just a general fuckedupness about her aura.

Also Bubbles been actin funny wit me lately. That evite to her superbowl party never came not that I wanted to go but I'm sayin. It's just odd. Part of me thinks that Rosanna told her some shit bout me.

I am seriously considering rollin out and just working retail... something kinda Gap-py or Old Navy-ish.

=========================================

2.8.07
Got real good look at the 3rd floor chick. She really does look like Ms. Piggy. (No offense, Ms. Piggy) so from hense forth her name in here will be Haaayah!!! Yes� that�s with4 a's and 3 !'s lmao!

I decided to wait for Coal to come into my room and spark a "convenience convo" on my cell woth one of my girlfriends. Topic? People who don't keep their word. Me oh my. I think I said something like "I lose respect for you and my expectations of you are automatically lowered." Well... bout 2 hours later he comes to me and asks if he said he would bring the cd he promised me on Friday. We both know he said Thursday but I let him ride the lie. Then he told me to call and remind him. I said I would, but then felt dumb because if he really wanted to give this gift, he wouldn't need to be reminded. I'm not calling. I hope he remembers. It would be nice to associate him with a gift he gave of his own accord from beginning to end.

=========================================

2.9.07 He forgot. Fckn asshole.

=========================================

2.22.07 Coal said he wanted to see me yesterday and would call when he got off work. Never called. I knew he wouldn't. I still can't figure out why he does what he does. But it is going to stop beginning next week. I'm going to have to change the way I deal with those folks and he is gonna be the first one to feel it. I'm annoyed that I even have to be bothered with any of this, but I guess it goes along with the territory.

I'm on the fence about September, but I am a little bit closer than I was before. I called and made an appointment wit a primary. After I get with an orthopedist and my date is scheduled, I'll know for sure what's gon happen.

=========================================

2.12.07
I'm in a bit of a funk. I think the anticipation of vday and the realization of the situation I'VE CREATED for myself is all coming to a head. I feel the stress of work and school but being overwhelmed in that regard is nothing new.

2.14.07
The PTA made banana pancakes and bacon and eggs for the staff as a Valentine's Day thank you breakfast for some recently successful colaborations. Then they ordered this giant Italian hero for lunch. Dread (the brother of one of the staff members who also works in the PTA kitchen) made me a double batch and put strawberries in the second one. They were totally delish! I would love to end things there, but it just would not be my life if it were to end so easily. As it turns out, Rosanna and Cokie (my boss) didn't get any of the pancakes in the morning time. They didn't go up to ask for any so they didnt get any. (As an unspoken people tend to send things down straight to Cokie's office. I guess that comes with being the boss. Anyway, dude didnt do that so she missed out, as did Rosanna.)

Well, its the end of the day and I'm walking out of the building to go home and Cokie and Rosanna have dread in the hallway yelling at him, making him promise to make more for tomorrow. I walk bye and say, "Goodbye" and Rosanna asks me, "Did you get pancakes this morning?" I, being oh so "nieve" (lmfao!) think she is asking a legitimate question and start going on and on about the lovely stack I got for breakfast and the even better second stack he made for me for lunch! ROTFL!!! She got soooo angry! Here she go, "Oh I guess we all gotta show up here looking like Ms. Diva to get some pancakes huh?!" WTF?? What did I do?? She said it such a caustic way and right infront of Cokie. I started to be mad but then I noticed Cokie was oblivious. She was too busy playing the care-taker role to Coal.

Yeah... that's part deux. Cokie was angry with Dread too, but told her that Coal didn't eat and if he could send some of the hero down for him then they would be square and he wouldn't have to make any pancakes for her tomorrow morning.

I am so over that place its ridiculous.

~