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... exodus

05.07.2004 // 5:16 pm

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The same shit that made me wanna leave my old job, is starting to happen here. I've already decided thatI'm going back to school after my grant runs out next year, but now I'm kinda shook.

There are a couple of people that I'm cool with here and one of em just quit yesterday. There's six black girls at the job. I can honestly say I got love for two of em... and she is one of the two. Now she leavin and the other one only comes in like once a week or some shit cuz she works as a consultant. I didn't come here to make friends, but after my last gig, I was so happy to see some damn black people I was ready to do the fuckin Hucklebuck. But now she's bout to roll, I'm wonderin how I'ma keep my damn sanity here everyday. I seen this shit happen before. One leaves. Then another... and another. And before you know it, there's this mass fuckin exodus from the joint.

I'm gettin by as far as my work, but I don't shyne here. I don't care anymore though... not really. These days, I'm jus tryin to stay out nicca's faces, stay outta trouble, and git my damn check. That's fucked up right? How's that for passion? LOL! I know its a rotten attitude to have, but it's the truth. Shit. I know I'm not the only nicca out here just workin for some damn benefits. I was real bright eyed and bushy tailed at one point, but I can't front... ole girl is crazy jaded now. I witnessed first hand the tw-faced back stabbin bullshit that goes on even in an organization that's supposed to be all about promoting peace and unity and all that jazz. The reality of that shit blew me. So now, alot of the time, I rely in the sistas (the real ones... cuz we got some of the "other kind" on staff too) in here to keep me on cruise and not wiggin out out all the damn time.

Well, Sista Friend put in her resignation yesterday. So, I guess it'll be two or three weeks before she actually rolls out. I'ma miss her like crazy though. Damn, and I suffer with seperation anxiety too... I ain't gon be good for shit on her last day.

Anyway, I aint forget the people that wanted to know stuff bout the page. I'ma write the scrpts and send 'em to y'all. They're kinda long, so I didn't wanna just put it up as a note. I'ma definitely do it though.

One.

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