.
.
... I'm going down
2003-01-09 // 9:56 a.m.
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It's happening again.
The fear...
the anger...
the self-doubt...
the confusion...
the emptiness...
the inability to focus on anything but him.
I've lost myself in a "him" before.
Several times, infact.
So, at this point, I know the signs (and the sensations) quite intimately.
I feel every part of me. It's like being in a state of hyperconsciousness --- a sort of acute awareness of everything around you...
and inside you.
It's like I'm just as sensitive to the numbness as I am to the pain.
It's stressful.
It's a heavy load to bear.
I don't know if the weight of it all is helping gravity to bring me down or if its just inertia capitalizing on a too-big body already in motion.
It doesn't really matter.
F*ck the physics behind it.
The point is I'm goin down.
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