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...sistah-so-foul

2002-04-29 // 2:40 p.m.

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Lost 4 more pounds. That makes 7 since I started this whole thing. Oddly enough, I'm not as excited about this fact as I could be...

I think I'm still reeling off the fact that my "date" was such a collosal flop!

He called, by the way. I felt awful! He kept going on and on about how attractive he felt I was. He told me he was gonna get me a t-shirt the read "Sistah So Fine". Then he started babbling something about my spirit, my soul and my skin. It was really sweet, a little weird, but still pretty sweet.

To be honest, I really wish I was one of those sistahs that could look past the physical and just try and bond with a person on a deeper level, but I'm just not. I guess I'm shallower than I thought. I mean, personality does count for a whole lot, but if I'm not attracted to the physical, I gotta shut you down.

I haven't told him yet. I'm stalling 'cause I'm chicken shit and I really am feeling guilty about this. We chatted for a couple of hours, and he seems like a real gem. But I'm just not feeling him.

Life is so unfair, sometimes. Don't you know, the whole time he was sittin on the phone wit me, strokin my ego, I was thinking of the person I wish would say those words to me.

{Oh hell naw! Trust me, y'all don't even wanna know what happened w/ that ni**a! I'll tell you sometime, though}

So...

I lost these 7lbs. and don't even really feel all that hot about it. I'm not gonna stop though. I'll still be on my pro-Ana sites lookin for ways to stay on track. I just figured I'd get some of this other sh*t off my chest.

peace,

macdiva... aka Sistah So Foul

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